Illusion
by Abandonedsrry
Summary: Zuko is captured by a group of ruthless Earth Kingdom soldiers, and when he is retrieved by the Gaang, Sokka can't help but notice the change in his personality. Eventual Sokka x Zuko.
1. Paranoia

**Title:** Illusions  
**Pairing:** Eventual Sokka/Zuko  
**Rating:** M  
**Warning:** Violence, Language, sex and other nasty things in future chapters. It gets very, very dark later on, so if you have a weak stomach, don't read.  
**A/N:** I'm in the mood for some drama, and who better than Zuko to be part of that drama? He's like, the definition of drama. ERM, and before anyone asks, yes, these soldiers don't know about the alliance between the Avatar and Zuko, so...yeah, Earth Kingdom soldiers are awesome like that. They'd probably still capture Zuko even if they knew, anyway, I guess. XDD Oh well.  
**Extra:** Remember how I started this ...maybe...two years ago? Yeah. Edited this chapter a little bit due to an ignorant reviewer. They had some points, but failed to get them across in a mature manner. Honestly, who reviews the very first chapter of a two year old story of an admittedly mediocre writer and expects to be taken seriously? Well anon, you got your wish. I will give this chapter a slight update, since you couldn't be bothered to read the _whole_ story.

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**Chapter one:** Paranoia

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Zuko tossed in his make-shift bed and closed his aching eyes, body shivering against the harsh winter winds. Had he known the temple weather was akin to that of Alaska's at night, he would have taken up Aang's offer to sleep inside of one the few undamaged temple rooms. Unfortunately, after loosing a particularly long sparring session the Avatar needed time to rest his lightly burnt shoulder, and Zuko didn't want to deprive him of a suitable place to recover.

He shook his head in miserable regret and nuzzled into the thin blanket, shivering madly. The location and weather definitely wasn't doing it for him. No matter how far his mind wandered, or how long he waited, the cold never failed to awaken him. And from the looks of things, there wasn't a damn tree in sight that he could use for fire wood. Scowling as yet another onslaught of biting wind lashed up his vulnerable arms, he threw the blanket aside and irritably began searching the temple walls for some sort of burnable material.

None. Absolutely-fucking-nothing. Not even a twig.

The prince ran a hand through his water speckled hair and eyed the Avatar's bison wearily. There was no way the creature would give him a ride. He was a fire bender, one that had injured the poor beast multiple times in the past. It could probably remember ever little injury Zuko had every put it and its friends though. The mere memory of his attacks made him wince, inviting speckles of red shame onto his usually pale face.

He pulled his eyes away from the resting bison and stared at the grubby stone by his side, fingers slipping down its smooth, aged surface. And then he paused, an idea popping into his head. There had to be a forest somewhere up top, right? If he could recall correctly, on one side of the cliff there was a great spanse of shrubbery and trees. Even if he couldn't find anything suitable to burn, he could at the very least locate something better than a paper thin sheet to sleep beneath.

Zuko shuffled over to the rope he had left lying on the ground, picked it up, and threw its hooked end as far as he could over the cliffs side. He tugged the rope experimentally a few times, and upon finding a reasonable amount of resistance, began to climb.

It took him a good five minutes to reach the top; after all, he was rather tired and climbing in the dark would never be an easy task. With one last heave he pulled himself up on to the rocky surface and looked around the darkened skies. There wasn't a single tree in sight. Zuko raised a hand up level with his face and created a small ball of fire on his palm, watching with mild interest as it burned and flickered brightly against the moons gentle light. He reluctantly pulled his eyes away and began to search for some wood.

A few times during his journey rocks caused him to stumble or yelp, but other than that, the exploration was relatively uneventful and quiet, only his slow breathing audible in the sullen air.

Gold eyes squinted against the darkness, searching with little avail for any sign of grass or trees. Finding none. How long had he been walking now? Would he be able to get back to camp? He hadn't thought of that before making his decision.

Zuko blinked wearily and yawned once more, a hand coming up to rub at his uninjured eye--

SNAP.

He tensed. Someone was in the desert lands with him. Slowly, hesitantly, he turned and glanced behind him. Nothing. He looked to either side. Nothing. And finally he looked back to his front, his flame flickering lively as he tried to make a figure out of the darkness. Nothing. Perhaps he was mistaken. This wasn't the first time his paranoia had gotten the best of him.

Shrugging his shoulders, Zuko resumed walking in search of wood, feeling uneasy despite his mental reassurance. He should have dragged that water tribe boy along. Thought he was a powerful fire bender, he didn't enjoy taking walks alone, in the dark, with the feeling that his every move was been shadowed. He was certain no one in existence did, which just made him all the more paranoid about further exploring the vast field of darkness.

A shiver ran up his spine as he nervously glanced around. "…Is uh…" He cleared his throat. "Is anyone there?"

Silence.

He furrowed his brows before setting off again.

Something hard abruptly caught him around the throat and he yelped, hand, along with the flame, coming to scrabble at the offending object. He winced when his fingers met with rock, scratching weakly, feebly, doing little more than damaging his nails as he tried to fight his way out of the restraint. "Dammit…" The attackers were nowhere in sight! How was he supposed to defend himself if he couldn't even see?

Zuko jerked his head from side to side, regretting it moments later when his neck was forcefully pulled backwards.

"Whoever you are, let me go!" He demanded, struggling against the rock with such fever that small tendrils of smoke began to drift from his nose. "I have no business with you."

Or at least he hoped not.

"Oh? I think you do, Prince Zuko."

Zuko's eyes widened a touch, but he quickly shook off the surprise and turned his head, feeling bruises forming against his otherwise unmarked skin as he struggled to locate the owner of the voice. He couldn't quite see the face of his attacker, but judging by the armor he wore it was an admiral, and a smart one at that. He'd known not to be foolhardy. Not to attack Zuko from the front. It was clear he had dealt with Fire Benders in the past.

Zuko growled, flames licking the ground in a failed attempt at intimidation. "No, I don't!" He lifted his arm and sent multiple fireballs in the mans general direction, aiming blindly. It was only when he heard a pained grunt that he grinned, pleased, and lowered his hands back to the stone slab around his neck so he could resume his struggles. If he managed to free himself, perhaps he could find his way back to the camp and warn the avatar.

Fingers dug blindly in to the rocks surface, slipping this way and that, finding little purchase. They had obviously prepared for his retaliation. The stone was thick, durable and refused to crumble beneath his feverish attacks. He clawed at them to the point of bloodying his fingers, but the make-shift collar refused to budge.

Panic flared as footsteps entered his hearing range.

"Don't come near me!" He screeched, hands coming to life with uncontrolled masses of fire. The footsteps continued advancing, and he realized after a moment of adrenaline induced concentration that there was more than just one pair. Oh, no. No. This couldn't happen. Not to him. He couldn't get caught - not after everything he had been through.

He desperately spun his arms and sent out a wave of flames; three loud yelps confirmed his beliefs. He was surrounded. Well and truly surrounded. He only hoped there was less than five, because in his current state, he wouldn't be able to fight off more than that.

Something cold was tossed onto his back, and he came to the conclusion after a moment of shivering uncontrollably, that it was water. He swore and turned his shivering arms behind him, attempting to aim a ball of fire at the enemy, only to feel two pairs of calloused hands jerk his arms up and against his back, efficiently trapping them there.

"Release me!" He hissed, grimacing heavy as something cold cut into his already water slick wrists. He assumed it was manacles, but made no effort to look. Was there really any point? He'd only end up hurting his neck again.

One of the attackers sauntered in to his view and frowned at the sight of the disheveled prince, a single rock sitting lifelessly in his palms. Zuko couldn't help but feel a little pride at spotting the burn mark on the mans hip; even while held down he was able to defend himself.

The man bent down and placed a hand over the slab around Zuko's neck, tightening it with the little rock. "Walking in to the desert alone when you know your face is familiar among millions of Earth Kingdom soldiers?' He laughed cheerfully, earning a heated glare from the prince. "And to think I thought you'd be smart. Pity."

Zuko felt the hands loosen and the rock tighten mercilessly around his neck, slowly cutting off his supply of oxygen. He rasped, struggling weakly as small white dots began to cloud his vision.

"If you ask nicely, I may release you," He heard faintly, but made no attempt to obey. He instead began to struggle again, blinking rapidly in an attempt to rid himself of the tiny white lights blocking his vision. He could feel his heart thumping madly against his ribs, his head starting to pound, and adrenalin flooding through his veins. Yet, he stayed silent, refusing to give into pitiful begging. He had done that too many times in the past. He wouldn't go through the humiliation again.

Contradictory to his show of confidence, he couldn't help but be reminded of what was at stake. He still had to get back to the avatar and help him defeat the fire lord; he couldn't die now, not now. Loosing everything he had worked for to such a simple and pathetic death was not an option. He wasn't even sure there were any options. Nothing was presenting itself, and by now he was starting to get desperate.

Zuko squeezed his eyes shut and ground his teeth, struggling to breathe through his nose. He was getting weaker, his fingers slipping from the rock and on to the ground, motionless. He felt his life starting to ebb away and his eyelids becoming heavy.

A quiet whimper fell from his lips as the man finally released his neck, allowing him to slump and land messily in the dirt, breath coming out in ragged, desperate gasps.

"Stubborn, aren't you."

Zuko blinked and closed his eyes, unable to keep them open any longer. He was just so tired. He could barely even move.

He was only partially aware of the hands tying his feet together, and as such, he made no attempt to protest. "Nngh…" He grumbled unintelligibly. In an attempt to awaken himself, he wriggled weakly against the dirt. "Let…let me go." He demanded, or would have, had his voice not come out as a hoarse groan.

The admiral simply smiled and bent over, lifting Zuko up by the back of his jacket, watching him dangle for a few minutes before shoving a hand under his knees and bending them. After a few moments of shuffling, Zuko noticed the man was carrying him bridal style (or at least in an embarrassingly similar way) and made an unmistakably indignant sound.

"Grab the ostrich-horses," The earth bender yelled to his fellow soldiers. "I have him."

Zuko would have blushed had it been anyone else, but instinct took favor in this case and he growled, kicked his feet, and attempted to shimmy out of the mans powerful grip. There was no way in hell he'd let someone carry him in such an undignified way, he was a prince—an ex-prince, yes, but still—A prince!

What would, well, _anyone_ think if they saw him in such a position? He was been treated like a peasant! A woman!

Growling, he leered up at the Admiral.

"Let. Me. Go." He ordered once more, voice a little stronger now that his throat had recovered from its abuse. The man responded with a broad grin and proceeded to pull him tighter against the armor plate on his chest, hoping to embarrass him even further.

"You're obviously not aware of the position you are in, dear prince. We have captured you," The admiral said, stopping only momentarily to look over a large, metal carriage. Zuko wasn't sure why they had it, or how they had known he would eventually wander out in to the open, but quite frankly, he wasn't concerned. His mind was far too focused on finding some route of escape.

"Obviously, or I wouldn't be saying 'let me go', now would I?" He shot back snarkily.

The man glowered at his words and he felt himself being pushed up against the carriages side, the bumpy surface digging in to his back and his face pressing dangerously close to protruding bits of metal. Taking advantage of their close proximity, he chanced a look at his captors face. He was facing an elder, experienced Admiral. Had he not felt the mans breath on his cheek he would have commented with something rude, but, considering his position, he decided against it.

"While you're with me I'd advise you hold your tongue, I have no qualms with teaching you a lesson," he hissed. Zuko felt himself shiver at this, but nevertheless, he continued to glare. "So, will you be a good little boy and come nicely?"

"Do you know what I think of your 'threat'?"

Zuko licked his lips and spat at the Admirals face, smirking when his expression twisted into one of loathing. The grip on his jacket tightened, hands shaking with what he assumed was anger, and he watched with a mild sense of amusement as the admiral growled like a kicked animal and wiped a hand across his face, ridding himself of all traces of saliva.

The metal ground up against his back, naked bolts cutting in to his traditional fire nation jacket as the man swore and shook him angrily. "You little fucking brat." He felt a hand digging in to his gut, pressing there in such a way that his breath gathered and caught in the back of his throat. "I hope you enjoy my company, because I'll be the only one you'll see while imprisoned." Zuko simply narrowed his eyes and shifted uncomfortably. "Perhaps then you can learn respect." He felt the hand pull him back and thrust him forward, right in to the cages middle. "Until then, enjoy the little freedom you have left, prince."

With that the door closed, leaving him slumped up against the cages wall, eyes lowered.

He had really gotten himself in to a muddle this time.


	2. Resentment

**Title:** Illusions  
**Pairing:** Eventual Sokka/Zuko  
**Rating:** M  
**Warning:** Violence, Language, sex, _non-con_, **death**, ect. Not all that graphic, thought, which is probably a good thing.  
**A/N:** Chapter two. Time for some Sokka action! Oh, and Zuko kills people in this chapter…EHEM. That's one of the reason its dark, I killed people. Or well, Zuko killed people! Ect. Fortunately none of them are the main characters, so it's no worry.

I hope you like disturbing mental images, because you are about to get them!

Also, my next update may not be as quick, but I'll try. (I keep on rushing things. I really want Sokka to save the day already!)

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**Chapter two:** Resentment

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Sokka lay on his bed with his arms outstretched in various directions and a trail of drool slipping down his cheek and onto his pillow. He grumbled, turned, and slipped his arm off the edge of the bed, almost bringing himself along with it. A little bald boy poked his head through Sokka's window, smile wide on his face, and quietly jumped into the room.

"Hey Sokka." He shook the tribesman by the shoulder. "Katara's busy, so can you come and watch me train?"

Unfortunately, the minimal contact made Sokka topple over and onto the floor, the sheet coming along with him. He groaned, and after swatting Aang's hand away, dived under his covers and attempted to ignore the younger males request. "Go away. Sleeping."

Aang laughed and nudged his friend. "But you're on the ground! You can't sleep there," he reasoned. He tugged the teenager by the arm in an attempt to get him moving, but failed, as Sokka simply shrugged him off and buried himself further in the sheets.

Aang pouted. "Pleeease?"

Silence.

"Sokka?"

Silence.

"SOKKA!"

A grumble.

"SOOKKAA—"

"OKAY! Fine! I'll watch you train." Sokka reluctantly pulled himself away from the covers and glared at his cheerful friend, hand coming to run through messy brown locks of mattered hair. "But it better be good."

Aang nodded his head frantically. "Alright, well, come on, Zuko's sleeping outside," he said as he grabbed the tribesman by the wrist and dragged him towards the door, expression happy, if not gleeful. Maybe he really _was _excited about learning more firebending. That wouldn't have come as a surprise to Sokka. After returning from their little adventure in the sun warrior temples, Aang and Zuko seemed more relaxed and happy about training with each other.

Upon arriving outside, Aang released Sokka's wrist. "Usually he's up earlier, maybe he's tired today," Aang mused, wandering over to the rock Zuko had respectfully chosen as his temporary bed.

It was empty.

The airbender frowned and bent down, staring intently at the rock and sheets. "Weird, I thought he'd still be here, maybe he went for a walk…" The avatar trailed off and began wandering the length of the temples front, calling out Zuko's nickname: Sifuhotman. When no reply came, he made his way back over to Sokka and smiled weakly.

"Have you seen him?" He asked, earning a quick shake from the tribesman.

"Noo, you were taking me to see him, remember?"

The Avatar sighed and nodded his head. "Come on, let's go and find him, he was going to teach me something really important today."

Walking two steps behind Aang, Sokka followed, his smile forced.

In the temple bedrooms? No.

By the fountains? No.

Down any of the various hallways? No.

With Katara or Toph? Certainly not.

It was only after an hour of searching that they came to a shocking conclusion:

Zuko was gone.

---

Dawn had arrived long before the carriage stopped; a sleeping Zuko was slumped up against the wall inside, unaware of their arrival. The admiral hopped off his carriage seat, stepped up to the door and pulled it open, movements receding somewhat when he spotted Zuko sleeping peacefully up against the carriage side. He extended a hand to grab Zuko's back, and--

A hand slapped over his wrist, bleary gold eyes staring down at him defiantly. "Good morning Prince Zuko," He greeted calmly, watching as the teen blinked and tightened his grip, possibly trying to decide whether or not an escape attempt was possible. "I trust your enjoyed your trip?"

The prince merely glared and kept silent, his hand gradually pulling away. There were at least ten soldiers outside. Even with his strength he wouldn't be able to take them all out.

"Been a good boy now, are we?" The admiral mocked, pulling Zuko from the carriage seat and onto the ground. He stumbled a few times, feet catching on some rocks, but managed to keep his posture straight and proud.

"Fuck you," The prince replied angrily, leering furiously.

The admiral chuckled. "Stubborn as ever, I see."

He tugged the prince forward, and without warning, began to drag him towards a nearby building.

Zuko blinked against the suns bright morning rays and looked over, eyes widening as he spotted a large, towering building sitting along side multiple smaller, uninhabited shops and houses. He struggled weakly against his bindings as he was dragged along, feeling somewhat panicked about the change to his situation.

He hadn't imagined he'd be taken to a…a _prison_. He had thought the threat was a joke. Usually they brought people such as himself to the closest palace, and then, without mercy, a death sentence would be given. Then why he was been taken to a prison? It would be harder to escape from a prison.

One look and the Admiral translated Zuko's despairing expression into words. "I've decided death isn't good enough for the fire nation's traitorous prince, so, you'll be staying here for quite awhile."

Zuko felt his confident stride falter—his situation was getting worse and worse by the second.

He tugged at his chains, fingers tightening as the Admiral, along with his many guards, forced him along. If there was any time to try and escape, now was it.

Without another thought as to what the concequences of his actions may be or what might go wrong, he spun himself around and knocked the Admiral back (a difficult task considering the Admiral's stature), his own feet stumbling over each other due to the thick, lanky chain. The soldired on either side of him darted at Zuko, but he was able to avoid impact by jumping out of the way before either attack hit him. He stomped vigorously on one foot, attempting to loosen or burn the chain, and shot a blast of fire from his lips to protect him while he did.

He watched as the fire grew and engulfed one of the men. A scream broke through breathy pants and the smell of charred flesh wavered under his nose. Bile built up in his throat and he forced it back down, breathing heavily. An ache began to develop. He didn't want to identify what it was while so desperately trying to free himself. It was bad enough he had fear settling down in his mind, making his movements too fast, too shaky with desperation.

Now wasn't the time to feel guilty, he reasoned with himself. He had to escape, even if it meant he had to kill a few people in the process.

Groaning, he watched as the body fell to the floor, void of skin and muscles or anything that gave it distinctive features.

It was disgusting, to say the very least. He tried not to let his gaze linger on it longer than necessary.

Dodging to the side, Zuko began to run as fast as the chains around his feet would allow him, adrenalin and fear pushing him forward. Faster, faster, FASTER! He stumbled and jerked himself upright when boulders and pieces of earth flew around his ears, just barely missing his face. With another spin he sent a ball of fire at the group of soldiers, but only managed to capture the smallest one in its flame. Once again, a scream ripped through the otherwise dulled air, and once again, he watched as a charred body fell before his feet, bringing a similar sickness back to his stomach and throat.

"Hng…damn…" He held his breath and began to run once more.

Before he could manage two steps in his desired direction his stomach lurched painfully as one of the guards jumped at him, and he noticed as a rock flew in to his stomach, that tears we're in the soldiers eyes. A monster called guilt churned in his chest, momentarily pushing away his main objective to create a new one: speak.

He was unable to. Saliva flooded in to his mouth and he forced himself to swallow it back—gods he felt sick. He wasn't sure whether it was from the smell of rotting flesh or the fact a sharp rock was digging rather violently in his stomach.

Either one was bad.

Damn.

Damn. Damn. Damn. He cursed silently to himself as the ground connected with his back, digging into his cramped and sore muscles and leaving him temporarily unable to move. A mere second passed and he jerked, desperately scrabbling away from the soldiers, palms bleeding with the raw effort he used. Only when something hard connected with his back did he stop, a gasp escaping his lips. The heel of what he identified as a foot dug in and he attempted to spin and face the attacker, but his attempts caused his lungs and chest to burn painfully so he stopped.

"You killed two of my soldiers!"

With a deep sense of dread, he felt the Admiral lean over and grab him by the hair, jerking him back and fourth like a rag doll. The man took advantage of Zuko's momentary surprise and wrapped a thick, sweet smelling cloth around his mouth, trying it there tightly with one hand.

The prince bit in to the cloth, trying hard to force it out of his mouth with his tongue. If he tried to use firebending now there was a possibility he would set the cloth alight and burn himself. He couldn't risk it, no matter how desperately he wished to speak. But then, what would he say? I'm sorry? Release me? His voice would do nothing more than enrage the man. Zuko groaned and swore (rather loudly) as the Admiral forced him to his feet, his hands roughly pushing him towards the prison.

"You'll regret that, you brat!" The admiral hissed angrily, beside Zuko's ear. But Zuko ignored it and focused on calming his frantic breaths. He couldn't get the disgusting smell of death out of his mind—charred, burning, bloody flesh, it was sticking to him like a plague, and by god, he felt sick to the stomach. He had never killed someone before. Not in such a vile, despicable way.

The hand on his back tightened as they were led thought a door and into a hallway aligned with cages. He could see people inside the cages, some moving, and some, which he presumed had been there the longest, where lying motionless on their bed, staring up at the ceiling. Zuko felt his stomach do a flip. This definitely wasn't good for him.

"Go."

Zuko frowned and glanced at the guards, who in turn, began to leave. One made a desperate dart towards the door, while the others, possibly older and more experienced in their field of work, left in a respectful manner. The prince furrowed his eyebrows and eyed the Admiral behind him, watching as he dug a hand into the vulnerable skin of his neck, possibly tempted to strangle him. Zuko wasn't surprised, he HAD just brutally murdered two of his soldiers, so he couldn't exactly call it a meaningless hate.

"Now you, dear prince, are going to learn what happens when you fuck around with my soldiers."

To say the next action was 'painful' was an understatement. He felt something sharp, and he presumed it was a rock, dig in his upper back as the Admiral roughly forced him into a nearby room, watching and laughing as he stumbled and fell first to his knees, and then his chin, scraping the skin. Droplets of blood pooled under his chin and he hissed, pressing his forehead into the stone in an attempt to numb the pain. He was sure he'd be pretty bruised up by morning, if not in a few minutes.

His thoughts were abruptly cut off when a hand grabbed him and slammed him into the wall. A muffled cry was immediately filtered by the gag. He was sure his lip was bleeding, soaking into the sweet smelling fabtic, but he was too distracted by the task of focusing on what the man was doing behind him to investigate with his tongue.

"What's that prince? Don't like the rough treatment?"

He heard the man shuffling behind him, but kept quiet, his anger silently boiling. A beating wouldn't be that bad. He would simply be sore for a little while. Later, he'd just have to figure out a way to escape.

"You don't respond to my liking with pain, dear prince, so perhaps we should try something different…how about humiliation?"

He felt a hand run over his thigh and immediately realized what was happening, an involuntary shudder running down his body. A silent 'stop' was desperate to escape his mouth, but as the cloth was biting into the sides of his lips, stopping all attempts to speak, he simply let out a ragged breath and narrowed his eyes instead, trying with difficult to ignore the admiral as he striped him off his clothing.

Air started to flutter against his back, thighs and neck—No! No no no. He couldn't just stand there and take it! He had to escape. He couldn't—he couldn't let this happen to him.

Zuko quickly shot out his shackled foot and tried to catch the Admiral on the knee. In response, the admiral simply grunted and lifted his leg, deflecting the attack. "Is that all you've got?" He asked, mockingly. Zuko bit into his gag and violently shoved back against him, pushing him back at least a foot before he felt the admiral regain balance and retaliate by pressing forwards. There was no change, he was still trapped.

He heard a quiet chuckle. "Try all you want, prince, but you won't be getting out of this anytime soon."

A hand grabbed the back of Zuko's head and slammed it in to the wall, causing little white lights to dance in front of his eyes, temporarily blinding him. How did the man expect him to attack back when he was shackled and gagged? He ground his teeth against the gag furiously.

He heard the clinking of a belt and jerked, eyes set on the wall in front of him. Dread set over his mind, and the worst part was, he couldn't move. He was stuck there, against the wall, hands tied and feet stuck together like glue, incapable of running back to Iroh, his mother, or any other important figure in his life like he used to. Something pushed in; he let out a gasp and tensed, fingers digging into the manacles binding his hands.

Pain, pain, pain, pain, pain. Definitely pain.

He forced his eyes shut and bit in to his cheek, focusing on the metallic blood under his tongue and the wall scraping against his shoulders.

---

It seemed like hours had passed before Zuko was able to look up from the floor, his gaze dull and expression empty, hands resting on his lap in a protective manner. The man had long since left, leaving him dirtied and injured up against the wall. But, he was glad to be alone. When he was alone it hurt less. It felt less humiliating. He could simply forget the act had ever occurred or pretend it had happened to someone else.

Sighing, he ducked his face in to his arm, taking refuge in the darkness it provided.

What was he going to do now? Wasn't he supposed to be looking for an escape? Zuko mumbled something into the crook of his arm, a word of advice to himself. 'Never give up without a fight'. His knife had said that. He had to focus. Listen to those words. Take the necessary steps to free himself from his cement cage.

First: what was he doing to do now? He couldn't just sit there feeling sorry for himself. That was exactly what the Admiral wanted, he wanted him to break. Second: How was he going to do it? That he hadn't yet figured out how to answer.

Hissing between tightly clenched teeth, he forced himself up on to his feet, stomach and abdomen churning with newly acquired pain. He took a few shaky steps from the wall, legs trembling, and wandered over to the door, pushing at it in an attempt to free its lock. No such luck.

He tried again, this time harder, his fingers sinking into the wood. The door didn't budge. "Damnit…" He scowled angrily and punched a bound fist at the door, before dropping and letting his forehead pres up against is surprisingly warm surface. Why couldn't he just get lucky for ONCE in his life? Just once!?

_Never give up without a fight._

_Never give up without a fight._

_Never give up without a fight._

Zuko rolled his eyes. Well, that's was inspirational. He tapped on the door once more, testing its strength against his manacles. It didn't seem like he'd be able to escape though it anytime soon. His hands were tied in such a position that he wasn't able to bend his palm in the right direction. Cursing to himself, he began to tug and pull at the metal restraints curling around his wrists, attempting to slip them off with little avail.

Obviously the Admiral was taking few chances. The fucking bastard. When he got out he'd kick his ass, and then burn it along with the rest of his repulsive body. In fact, just to be thorough, he'd burn his ashes as well.

Zuko carefully eased himself away from the door and placed his back against the wall, sliding down it until he was able to curl his knees up against his chest.


	3. Endurance

**Title:** Illusions  
**Pairing:** Eventual Sokka/Zuko  
**Rating:** M  
**Warning:** Violence, Language, somewhat graphic torture, ect.  
**A/N:** ;3; I feel so bad. UGH. Angst is so addicting to write, because it's such a raw emotion. DKHGHL. This chapters not too bad, I suppose, I always say my chapters will be really dark in fear of people disliking what I write…eh. I like to give warning, so then people won't bother me when they read it and feel bad for it.

Uhn, not important. I'm hoping Zuko's still in character in this chapter, because his stubborn attitude is somewhat difficult to write sometimes.

Anyway, to explain a few things: Toph can't see, nor is she able to help all that well in the desert, so she asked to be left behind. Haru, the duke, and pipsqueak are looking after her, or vice versa.

Zuko is unable to firebend, but he is able to move his hands enough to fist them, or grab something. But if he fire bends, he will burn his palms.

**Reply to reviews:**

**Animefan2157: **Thank's for the encouragement. XD I'm updating now.

**Lunaverserocks**: LOL!? REALLY!? I never knew, I mean, I wrote it, but DAMN, it could be something else, ya know? Yeah, sorry. Sarcasm. Yes, he was raped, I wouldn't worry thought. Sokka will come in soon to help him, but to help him, he needed something emotionally damaging to happen in the first place, which is why wape is dere. But assuming you don't even like yaoi, you probably shouldn't be reading my story.

**Kirai-Ninja**: I am, I swear I am! I'm skipping a heap of days just so I can get to Sokka x Zuko coddles. ;3; Ehh. I want lurve. And fluff. And Sooka to fawn over Zuko, because that'd just be adorable.

**Lionessmoon**: Oh, he shall be coming in soon. I'm struggling to write chapters like that, doing anything like that to Zuko is difficult. Its so much more fun to write him getting cuddled and loved by his various lovers. Haha. XD

**Crismon-Tears2003**: He'll be fine once in Sokka's arms. I promise!

**JoeyRZ:** I hope this is quick enough. x3

---

**Chapter three: **Endurance

---

By the time Zuko's awoke he wasn't sure whether or not it was morning, but by the way his mind stayed groggy and weak through out each of his movements, he supposed only a few hours had passed. That meant he had gotten very little good sleep, if any. Sighing, he ran his hands over his eyes and pinched the light hue under them, blinking whatever amount of tiredness he could away.

"Oi" The door creaked and he saw a soldier entering, an object held protectively in between his hands. "Are you awake, prince? I've come with some supplies" The door made a 'thump' as it closed, sealing both males inside.

Zuko couldn't think of a retort. He was just so _tired_. He nodded his head timidly and stared down at the floor. Through the silence he could hear the soldier shifting further in to the room, almost cautiously edging closer to the injured teen. At this, Zuko lifted his head.

"So, where did my Admiral injure you? Just motion to the spot." Zuko's hand twitched, but he stayed silent and still.

The soldier seemed to disapprove of his silence for he slipped the first aid kit on to the floor and grabbed Zuko by the front, roughly examining him. "…Your chin will be fine," By the soldiers tone, it seemed as if he didn't really care. "And there aren't any strangulation marks…" Zuko repressed a shiver as the man forced his outer jacket aside. "Nor any bloody markings on your chest, hm…" A hand ran over his back, and Zuko absentmindedly noted that it was cold. "Or you're back…Well, then…"

He looked down at Zuko, amused. "Clearly the admiral fucked you."

The realization was too blunt. Zuko twitched again, his eyes locking with the soldiers. He pressed his tongue against the gag and made a grunting noise, trying with little avail to speak. The soldier ignored him.

"That's understandable, you have the body for that sort of thing" The soldier laughed and Zuko let out an inaudible growl. As soon as he escaped, he'd kick this guy's ass too, along with the rest of the damned earth kingdom soldiers. No scum soldier would speak down to a prince (Well, an ex-prince.) and get away with it.

He attacked the cloth around his mouth with his tongue once more, feeling saliva build up on its front, making his lips itchy. He grunted, twisting his head in an attempt to loosen the knot at the back. No such luck.

The soldier laughed at the princes attempts and grabbed the first aid kit, sliding it over to Zuko's front. "Don't even bother; I doubt you'd be able to get that far in your current state anyway" Zuko silence at this. He knew the soldier was right, even if he did manage to remove his gag, what was the point? It wasn't as if he could alight stone on fire, and even if he could, he'd probably end up burning himself in the process.

"I doubt I can do anything for that" The soldier was awful talkative, Zuko wasn't sure whether or not this was a bad thing. He jumped as two cold hands pressed against his hips, prodding the bruised skin. "Ah, these are pretty damn nasty; the admiral must really dislike you. Then again, so do I, so perhaps I could give you the same treatment?" Zuko felt his face begin to burn.

He bit in to his gag and attempted to shoot back an answer, but simply found himself making a sound similar to a gurgle. The soldier noticed this and carefully removed the gag from his mouth, giving it a reproachful glance as blood and saliva dripped from its front. "Hm, so what did you want to say?" He asked, dropping the metallic smelling cloth on to the floor.

Zuko growled. "Release me" His voice was hoarse and his throat scratchy, but never less, he managed to keep his tone confident. The soldier smirked and shook his head, hands coming to fiddle around in his first aid kit.

"No. You should know by now that no earth kingdom soldier would release you. You're too much of a threat" He brought out a bottle of water, and Zuko instantly locked eyes with it, mouth watering. After not drinking for two days one was bound to be thirsty. And seeing a source of water so close to him made it all the more obvious.

The soldier flipped off the lid and took a gulp of the water, purposely letting some of it drip on to his chin. Once content, he sighed and lowered the bottle, watching as Zuko eyed it longingly. "Thirsty, eh? How about this, we can make a deal" Zuko snapped his eyes back to the soldier, listening intently. "Beg for it and I'll give it to you."

His glare intensified ten fold, and if looks could kill, the man would have burst up in flames within seconds. "No." He answered simply, throat burning at the simple motion. The soldier raised an eyebrow and brought the bottle back to the bag.

"Well then, enjoy dying of dehydration" The soldier picked himself up from the floor and began to leave.

The water…

Zuko felt his throat burn again, encouraging him to speak out.

He needed the bloody water.

If he didn't drink he'd die of dehydration.

Zuko bit in to his lip. "…Wait!" He called, just as the man reached the door. "I…" He couldn't bring himself to continue, no matter how thirsty he was. Licking his chapped lips, he stared up at the soldier as he once again plopped himself down in front of Zuko, smile wide on his face.

"Yes? Reconsidering your decision?" He asked, placing the bottle just out of Zuko's reach.

The prince stared at him. He _needed_ the damn water. But if he asked for it he knew his pride would take a beating. Either beg for the water, or die? Beg or die? The answer seemed simple enough, but Zuko still found himself struggling to speak. "Can I…please have the water?" He ground out.

The soldier shifted the bottle a bit closer to him, but kept his grip at its middle. Obviously his attempt wasn't good enough. "Come on, you can do better than that" The man coaxed, highly amused.

"…I…" Zuko carefully began to trace over his words, glare never leaving his face. "I beg of you, may I please have the water."

The soldiers smile widened and he pressed the bottle against Zuko's parted lips, tilting it so water could escape. Zuko, wrists still bound, struggled to catch the stream in his mouth, and unfortunately ended up with water dripping down his chin and over his chest, soaking through his already damp clothes. The soldier only pulled away when the bottle was empty, and even then, he was still smiling in an irritatingly cheerful way.

The prince pulled his head down and licked his lips, catching water droplets on his tongue. "That's a good boy" He felt a hand pat his head. Scowling, he shrugged it off and tilted his head backward, attempting to look dignified.

"I am no pet." He pointed out angrily.

The soldier glanced at him in a dismissive sort of way and slowly began to pack the bottle back in his kit, seemingly uninterested. "…Oh, don't worry, you won't be saying that in a few days" He turned to Zuko and placed a hand under his chin, eyebrows furrowed. "Firenation scum are always the hardest to break" Zuko quickly ripped his head away, fingers curling in anger. How many firenation soldiers had these people tortured in to submission? How many had they killed? By the way the soldier spoke; it seemed like quite a few.

Zuko felt thin streams of smoke wafer from his lips. "No earth kingdom scum will break me!" He yelled with such anger that the young soldier almost flinched. _Almost_. Once his message was clear he leant back and glared, gold eyes never leaving the soldiers face. Even when bound in chains he could be aggressive and frightening, he only hoped the Earth kingdom soldiers thought so too.

The soldier took this as a warning and stood. "I'll leave the admiral to deal with you then" Zuko felt himself tense. He had almost forgotten about that man. He shook the feeling off and locked his gaze levelly with the man, watching as he quickly exited the room.

Zuko was grateful for his leave, he wanted to rest and relax, perhaps recover a little more from the night before. He carefully fell back against the stone and closed his eyes, almost instantly falling in to relaxing darkness.

---

"Mother…"

The prince rolled on to his shoulder and curled his legs up against his chest, lips moving in a continuous murmur. His forehead was sweaty and warm, along with his palms and neck. Even in sleep, he could feel the heat rising off his body with each movement he made.

A hand came down softly on his shoulder and he groaned, reaching for it and cuddling it against his chest. "Mother…" he pressed it closer against his body as the image of his mother slowly came to mind. Her arms around him, cuddling him, protecting him…

"Why prince Zuko, I never knew you were capable of been affectionate" He jerked awake, fingers automatically falling away from the intruder's hand. Had he not been confused and half asleep he would have let out an attack, but as he was laying sweaty and bound in the middle of a cage the most he could manage was a surprised yelp.

The admiral allowed him to pull away, pleased with his reaction. "Your mother must be very important to you. Is she dead?" The man questioned. "I don't recall your father ever announcing her death…"

Zuko grit his teeth, he was ashamed, and he momentarily wondered how long the admiral had been watching him. "You have no right to watch me sleep, nor to ask me personal questions" In the back of his mind he could hear a little voice telling him otherwise, but he quickly pushed that reasonable little voice away and focused on glaring a hole through the admiral's chest.

"Oh, but I do have the right, as you are my prisoner" A hand curled in to his front jacket and pulled, causing him to land messily on his stomach. He hissed, wincing when pain flooded through his abdomen and hips. He really didn't know how much longer he could put up with this man, he was driving him insane! "And that means it'd be better for you to listen to me instead of fighting."

"I may be your prisoner, but you will NEVER have my compliance!" To back up his words he lunched at the admiral, managing to knock his elbow to the man's neck before he was flung back against the ground.

The admiral grabbed him by the shoulder and dug his knee in to his back, immobilizing him. "You're a liar. You're just as pathetic as every other fire nation occupant and you'll break just as easily" The knee dug in harder and Zuko was forced to arch his back as to not injure his spine. He really wished it wasn't necessary to breathe, with each breath he took the burning in his lungs increased. It was if a knife was going straight through his back, just underneath the admiral's knee.

"Y-you're the pathetic one..." He forced between clenched teeth, feeling his chest heave as precious air escaped his lips. "You're...bullying a h-helpless prisoner and calling yourself the bigger man—I-if you're so tough, why not face me head on?" Zuko felt the grip tighten, and had blood not been flooding in to his ears, he was sure he would have heard a crack.

"What makes you think I'm bullying you?" The admiral growled. "I'm simply punishing you; your father would have done the same thing, would you have said he was bulling you too?"

Zuko felt his mouth move, but no words came out. He couldn't think of a reply to what his tormentor had said, not when his words held so much truth.

Not when his father would willingly kill or torture him for his betrayal.

Not when his father had _already_ tried, and failed to kill him.

Not when anything he said would only confirm the man's belief. 

He could feel the blood starting the well under his back, creating a bruise. Several times he attempted to thrash, but each seemed ineffective to the admiral's steel like grip. Finally, he caved and fell back against the floor, unable to struggle any longer. "Tired, are we?" He felt the pressure loosen, but not pull away completely. For the little release he got, he was greatful.

Zuko ignored the throbbing in his back and let out a pent up breath instead of a whimper. "I hate you" He managed, although his voice was weak from lack of sleep and wear. "I hate you…" He wasn't sure whether it was the man or his father he was talking to now, it seemed as if it was a little of both. The knee that had previously been on his back moved down beside his thigh, allowing him to wriggle on to his elbows.

Thought Zuko couldn't see from his position on the floor, he was sure the man was smiling. "Do you think it would bother me to be hated by Ozai's pathetic, useless son?" He was prodding Zuko's buttons, and the prince knew it. But, somehow, it still hurt to hear his father's name. "To answer you: No. In fact, I think I'll encourage the hate further."

His shirt was slowly pulled down his arms, stopping at his manacles. He felt a familiar sickness weight down on his stomach, bile in his throat, and perhaps a touch of fear…? He was still sore, the thought of having that man…do such a thing to him again made him tremble softly.

He was mildly surprised when instead of having his pants removed he felt blinding pain flood through his back, and he realized seconds later, that the man had bit a knife in to his shoulder. He quickly tried to cover his pain, but unfortunately, the admiral was already aware of his discomfort. "What was it that your own country dubbed you" The man silenced, seemingly in thought. He traced a hand over the newly created cut and watched as blood built up around the wound. "Oh, that's right, an outcast." Zuko tensed, not only from the pain, but from the memory.

He wasn't prepared for the next cut. He let out a cry of pain as the knife cut in to his skin, his expression distorting in to one of agony. The elder male smirked and pulled the knife back, allowing the blood on the knife to drip on to Zuko's neck, coating his already pinkened skin a new colour of red.

"Hm, how long do you think it would take me to engrave the earth kingdom symbol in to your back, permanently?" He lowered the knife and Zuko was unable to repress a bout of shivers. When he felt the steel against his shoulder blade, the shivers increased. It was a bodily reaction he couldn't hold back, no matter how desperately he wished it to go away.

The knife dug in once more and this time he didn't hold back his yelp, he didn't even try. Perhaps if he complied even a little with the man's requests he would quicken the whole process. Despite been confident, stubborn and strong, even Zuko had the basic human instinct: Self preservation. And swearing and struggling at this point would merely make the Admiral pressure him further, harder, and more violently.

The admiral paused. "I asked you a question, prince" The knife bit in once more, causing Zuko to let out a shuddering breath instead of an answer.

"D-don't know" He stammered angrily in reply.

"Well then, I guess we'll have to find out, won't we."

Zuko braced himself for the next attack, but sadly, even while been ready he was unable to keep back a shudder when steel met with skin.

Hours passed and eventually the knife was gone, along with the admiral's hold on his legs. He didn't move, thought, he was in to much pain to do so. A groan passed his lips as he pulled his shackled hands up to his chest, attempting to lift himself off the ground with the little strength that he had left.

His movements were stopped completely when cool liquid fell over his back, bringing the stinging to an intensifying high. "Look's like you'll need a bandage for that tomorrow, I wouldn't want you to get an infection after all, that might give you a pre-mature death" He pressed a hand in to Zuko's back and watched as Zuko jerked and struggled to move away from the touch. "I wouldn't want out time together to be cut short after all."

Zuko immediately ceased his struggles when the admiral pulled him from the floor and plopped him up against the closest wall. His back stung uncomfortably, and his head throbbed with an oncoming headache, but he still managed to glare at the Admiral just as heatedly as he had the day before. Within minutes of the admiral trapping him, he was dropped to the floor.

"There's still a lot of you to break down…"

At the man's next words, his throat burned:

"I'll see you tomorrow."

---

"AANNGG! We've been searching for days! Just face the fact already!"

The water tribesman known as Sokka wiped a palm across his sweaty forehead and squinted at his bald little friend, the avatar. The sun was blearing down on his arms and face, burning the skin a light red, and causing him to wince every time he took a step further in to the desert sands. "He's gone, and I doubt he'll be coming back" Behind him, Katara nodded in agreement.

"I bet he ran off back to his father" She sounded bitter, her expression matching her tone. "We shouldn't have trusted him."

Aang quickly shook his head, determined to prove Zuko innocent. "He can't have! Zuko…isn't like that anymore. And I need him as my teacher, if I don't have him I…" He cut himself off. The two siblings already knew what he was going to say, he almost didn't see the point in finishing the argument. He quietly shook his head. "…I'll let down everyone again; I need to defeat Fire Lord Ozai, and to do that I need to learn more fire bending!"

Katara gave her friend an apologetic look and put a hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry Aang, I'm…I'm sure he's around here somewhere" She encouraged, completely ignoring her previous words of hate for the fire bender. "Maybe we just aren't looking close enough."

At her comment, Sokka raised his eyebrows. "Uh, you know we've been looking for over three days, right?" He ran a sweaty palm through his equally sweaty hair and sighed, waving his arms in hope of catching a slight breeze. "We would have seen him by now if he was still out here."

"Unless he's dead."

A cool breeze ran over the three, silencing them.

Sokka shook his head, but didn't speak. He didn't see the point. They would either argue about Zuko's location, or find him, and at the moment doing both were leading them to a dead end. He just didn't know what to suggest anymore! Heck, he didn't even have a crazy plan to try out. He desperately wished he did.

Aang cleared his throat awkwardly and took a handful of Appa's fur in to his hand, tugging at it softly. "I think we should continue searching…" He suggested softly, eyes diverted. "We'll look for another few day's, alright? We don't really have much choice."

The siblings quickly nodded their heads. They didn't object, not speak as they hopped on to the large, furry flying creature. "If he's gone…we'll look for another teacher…" Positioning himself over Appa's saddle, he grabbed the bison's head and petted it softly, comforting himself the best he could. "We'll have to be careful thought. Yipyip." In a flurry of air and sand, the bison took off in to the air, leaving a sandy trail behind him.

---

The soldier that had previously treated Zuko peeked through the stone door and eyed the motionless prince, the Admiral standing beside him. "Admiral Kain, was torturing the boy in such a way necessary?" He asked, raising a delicately curved eyebrow. He was still young and didn't enjoy watching mere teenagers be tortured, but it seemed as if the admiral did. In fact, the admiral had tortured quite a few young fire nation soldiers, some only eighteen, and not even once had he regretted it.

Kain turned to the younger male and grunted. "It wasn't about the torture" He started, but at seeing his soldier's expression he shook his head. "You know that it was to teach him a lesson, he's the prince of the fire nation, he deserves no less."

"Yes, I know…" His voice whittled down to a whisper. "I can understand you…um, 'using him', sir, but giving him a permanent scar is a little…" He slowed, unable to finish his sentence. What could he say? Call his admiral Sadistic? Crazy? If he insulted his officer it was likely he'd end up getting a job worse than the one he currently had, and he couldn't risk that.

"What I mean is, why don't we just kill him like we did with the others?" He carefully traced over his words, and at finding no offence in them, continued: "It's not like he's useful while alive, we'd benefit more from having him killed."

The adrimal shook his head, scowling. "I wouldn't throw a prize like him away the moment I got him, besides; he's going to die in a week anyway" A smile stretched on to his lips, wide and proud. "_I_ have heard of the avatar's location! It'll be a few days before I can find him, but, I'll have him as my guest within a few days!"

The soldier frowned in reply, having already heard the news of Kain's accomplishment. "I…I see" His tone didn't seem all that convincing, but thankfully the admiral simply dismissed this and patted him on the shoulder.

"It should be good news for you, seeming his condition bothers you so much" He let out a barking laugh and pulled his hand away, heading down the hallway in a haughty, superior fashion. "Make sure to give him plenty of food, the next few days are going to be the last I have with him." He waved a hand dismissively and disappeared behind a wall of stone.

The soldier was motionless, and although he knew his admiral was gone, he muttered an answer under his breath. "Yes sir."


	4. Delusions

**Title:** Illusions  
**Pairing:** Eventual Sokka/Zuko  
**Rating:** M  
**Warning:** Violence, Swearing,  
**A/N:** Zuko gets a little revenge! HOO YA. Go Zuzu! I'm moving on now, Zuko will be rescued pretty soon, then I can get on to writing the floofy Sokka lurve moments. (Thank god.) Hrmm.

Reply to reviews:

**RueBroadway**: I think you're my favorite reviewer now! Just for you, I tried to do this again, even thought I was going to stop writing it! You really encourage me to continue, so, Thank you.

**Lionessmon**: Yeah, unfortunately he did. Thought, it has something to do with the plot later on.

**Kirai-Ninja**: Well, I'd love to hear your idea's! XD

**Lunaverserocks**: Ahah, no I don't have much experience with it, I mean, we've all has bullies in our childhood, but I just pull random idea's from my…err, eye socket? I dunno.

**Psychodemonwitch**: D: You hit that Adrimal good! He deserves it. And yes, they are going to save him soon. Mostly because I'm becoming a woobie.

**BobLemon: **xD He's gonna be safe soon enough

**ElementalANimal:** Thank you! I'm so happy to hear someone say that! The whole time I was writing I was worried about making the characters too OOC, so this makes me feel better. nn  
**  
Takaouto: **H/C woobie love between Zuko and Sokka? We all know that is the best cause there is. XD

**Tessa Maralene:**Thank you, I promise the healing part will be coming up soon!

---

**Chapter four: **Delusions

---

Three days passed. Zuko had his back bandaged and disinfected, but he wasn't grateful for it. It was itchy, uncomfortable, and whenever he tried to bend over or shift against the wall, it would throb and burn uncomfortably.

With each second that passed in discomfort, his hate for the admiral, the man that reminded him so very much of his own father's cruelty, grew and grew and grew, reaching its breaking point. He could almost imagine a little white tube filling up with red until—boom! It burst.

That, unfortunately, was very similar to his reactions to the admiral's arrival. Each time he would attack the admiral, and each time he would end up face first on the floor. And by the end, he was either bloodied or too sore to move, sometimes he simply fainted, which in his case, was preferable. Although when he woke up from his forced sleep he often regretted wishing for such darkness, but then hours later he'd wish for it again! It was like a sadistic cycle.

Scowling to himself, he shifted against the wall and groaned, busying himself with fiddling with his manacles. He quietly ran both hands over his forehead, pressing against the sweaty flesh. He really wished they would stop throwing water at him. After awhile he either got cold and tired, or itchy and uncomfortable because of how heavy and wet his clothes ended up. There were a few red marks on his arms, but they were simply from him scratching himself. Or holding himself. Both occurred during his time awake.

A hand absentmindedly began to prod at his scar. During his time in the prison he often forgot it was there, but it merely took a wandering hand or a comment from the admiral to snap him back to the memory. The door creaked and he lowered his head, hiding his face behind a curtain of dark brown locks. "Hello prince, your looking awfully pale this morning," The familiar smiling face of the bulky, brown haired admiral came in to view just as he peeked through his hair.

He looked more cheerful than usual. Perhaps he'd get a rest today? He hoped so; it'd been awhile since he had gotten a day without ending up on the floor, bloodied and bruised. He couldn't imagine how shocked the Avatar would be when—IF—he saw him in such a state. "I have some good news, it seems the Avatar has been spotted," Zuko felt his heart thump, and for a moment, everything was completely still.

He almost wanted to cry for joy. The avatar had been seen, the avatar would help him and get him out of the hell that he was been forced to endure. "Where?" He asked, lifting his head, expression no longer one of loathing but one of curiosity. "Is he coming here?" He felt his voice crack a little and quickly lowered his head, not wanting to give his excitement away. "The Avatar…"

Fortunately the admiral mistook his words for ones said out of fear. "Perhaps he will, then perhaps he will take you off our hands and kill you," He waved a hand and smirked, watching the prince behind muddy brown eyes. "I doubt I need to keep you any longer, anyway, you look like a frightened little bird-deer in the middle of a battle field, and at the moment are probably just as dangerous as one." The man laughed loudly at his own mocking words and placed a hand against his forehead, wiping his brow.

Zuko kept silent, not wanting to break his chance at freedom. He'd allow the man to gloat now, but thinking about the way the Avatar would react to his condition…revenge would be such a sweet occurrence. With the man gone, he could get on with his life, ignore everything that had happened, deny it ever took place, and perhaps even be _happy_. Strange how been in a muddy old cage made people realize how important happiness was.

"…And everyone will know the story of the great Admiral Kain who broke and destroyed the fire nation's prince! Ha, how do..."

Zuko curled his knees up closer to his chest, something he had started to do the second day of his time in prison, and pressed his face in to his knees, too tired to listen to the admiral rant on any longer. It was the first time he had heard the man's name. He sighed. Admiral Kain. Admiral Kain. Admiral Kain. That was the name he despised, and always _would_ despise. He would make sure to erase that name from his life, and from history. He would make sure he could forget.

"…The avatar will be so pleased! And to think…"

His eyes started to droop. He was tired, extremely tired in fact. His arm's bruised, legs sore, back throbbing and headache always dully pounding against his forehead made it hard for him to sleep, thus why he often drifted off during the Admiral's speeches. Just as his eyes had closed a hand grabbed his around his shirt and brought him back to earth. He almost whined at the intrusion, but quietly covered that with a glare.

"I have little time left with you, I think I should make the best of it," Zuko stared at the man's face as he spoke, noticing small cuts on his chin and neck, possibly signaling he had been in a battle. He blinked and looked away from the man, too tired to object to the admiral's words.

"Not going to fight today?" He felt the hand shake his front, but made no attempt to fight it off. A reaction meant he'd be hurt, and he had already had enough of been bruised. Right now, he just wanted the Avatar to get off his ass and hurry up. The sooner he came, the sooner he would be able to get some sleep. And perhaps be healed. The man was disappointed at his lack of reaction; he could tell by the way the hands tightened on his front, pulling the fabric in an almost violent way. But, just as soon as the tightness had come, it slipped away.

"Hmph, and to think you said you'd never broken," The man took a step back and aimed a kick to the prisoners gut, getting little satisfaction at the growl Zuko gave. "I shouldn't have expected any less from some_thing_ so pathetic."

Zuko could feel his teeth grinding together now. He just had to relax, ignore the man, rest…

"No wonder your father banished you."

Fuck.

Zuko growled fiercely and lunged at the man's leg, managing to latch on to it with his teeth. He let a flame fall from his lips and pulled back, glaring fiercely as the man jumped and yelped, trying with difficulty to put out the flame on his pants. Zuko felt his pride raise as the fire slowly smoked and disappeared; revealing a nasty red mark on the man's leg. He could tell that it was painful.

"When I said I would never be broken, I meant it," The prince said simply. He leant back against the wall and awaited the pain that would surely come. But nothing, nothing the man did would take away his little victory.

He had won this time.

---

Someone had been following them.

Aang knew. Sokka knew. Katara knew. But neither of them spoke out, nor attempted to rid themselves of the stalker. Instead they continued on through the desert, searching every nook and cranny for any sign that Zuko had survived. So far they had found nothing. Not even footsteps, a weapon, a piece of wood—NOTHING. It almost seemed pointless to continue searching, and Sokka often worded Aang's thoughts with loud, brutish complaints.

Aang blinked the heat from his eyes, fingers brushing over his neck, wiping away the itch there. Behind him, Katara mimicked his movements. "Can we head back yet?" Sokka asked for the eight time that day, his arms slung out in front of him. "We're going to end up lost, and that guys still following us! What if he's an assassin?"

Aang eyed him briefly. "I don't know, but if they wanted to kill us, they would have attacked by now," He replied softly. Sokka sighed and nodded in agreement; there was no point arguing with the avatar, he was almost always right.

"You shouldn't speak about your worries if you believe an assassin is nearby," At this new voice, Aang jumped and stumbled back a few steps, he eyes wide and fingers perched delicately over the side of his glider.

"Who are you?" He demanded, catching the stare of two strong blue eyes.

The cloak clad man smiled and lowered his head.

"I am a soldier under the command of Admiral Kain, and I'm here to request your presence, avatar."

---

Zuko breathed deeply though his mouth and pressed himself up against the prison wall, tongue absentmindedly flickering out to lick away the blood that had fallen over the side of his lip. He looked over at the girl in the corner of his cage and flushed, fingers and body trembling with remembrance. He had known the Admiral was sick, but to force a young girl, no older than five to watch him be violated? That was beyond sick—that was psychotic, disgusting. Zuko forced his eyes closed and slid down the wall, unable to face the girl any longer.

He felt so pathetic. He couldn't stand it anymore, not even the thought of the Avatar's return made him feel any better, not after what he had just gone through. "S'cuse me mister," The girls voice broke through his thoughts, and he forced his head up against his knees, attempting to hide himself from view. Unfortunately the girl didn't notice his need for silence and continued to talk: "A-are you okay, mister? You look sick."

Zuko felt a dry laugh build up in his throat, but he kept it down. "I'm fine," He managed, fingers trembling up against his shirt fabric. "Just tired…"

The girl didn't look convinced. Did he really look that bad? "But that mean man hurt you, and mommy says when people cry they need a hug." Zuko flinched, the memory striking his mindonce more. He had cried, hadn't he? He couldn't remember the details, the memory seemed like a large, empty haze to him now. Or perhaps he just didn't WANT to remember.

Zuko frowned and ran a hand through his mattered black hair. "Forget what you saw, it didn't happen," He said quietly, his gaze never leaving his feet. If he looked at the girl again he was sure he'd have another dizzy spell, or worse, feel the need to comfort her.

"But I saw it," He heard the familiar sound of skin slapping stone as the girl pushed herself to her feet and wandered over, only to find her chains pulling her back once Zuko was within hands reach. "The mean man hurt you, and you need comfort, that's what mommy said when I scraped my knee."

The girl was brave, he would give her that.

Zuko turned is head. "This is different, this is adult stuff," He explained calmly. "Your 'mommy' will come for you soon, so you don't have to worry about it." He almost laughed at his words of comfort, but at noticing the smile that lit up on the girls face, he silenced and buried his head in-between his knees, finding protection in the darkness they provided.

"I'm sorry mister," He felt a warm hand on his shoulder and flinched, resisting the urge to slap it away. "I couldn't help you, and mommy says I should always help people. But um, its not you fault, what happened I mean, mister…" The girl was oddly intellectual for her age, or at least, she knew what had happened was painful for Zuko. The prince nodded his head and forced down a choked sob. Now was not the time to cry, not now, not ever. Princes didn't cry. And ex-princes CERTAINTLY didn't cry. If he wanted to get out of the jail alive he had to keep strong.

He slowly relaxed in to the girl's warm touch, fingers loosening against his pant fabric and gradually falling down to his ankles. "Thank you," He whispered tiredly. Perhaps getting a few hours sleep would be good for him, he, after all, had been putting up with the admiral for almost four hours now, he knew it'd be best for him if he at least rested a little bit. He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead in to his knees, a tiny smile gracing his lips as the girl whispered a small 'good night' to him.

---

**That girl? ...I have the urge to yell 'aww' at the top of my voice when I write about her. I bet next chapters going to kill me to write. **


	5. Expectations

**Title:** Illusions  
**Pairing:** Eventual Sokka/Zuko  
**Rating:** M  
**Warning:** Violence, torture, the usual nasty-ness.  
**A/N:** I apologize for the long wait. I went on a hiatus to try out different writing styles and I think I've found one that suits me. Please please please forgive me! And if I forget to do this again, you have permission to crucify me and bother me as much as you want.

I really have to learn to keep up a good updating pace.

Reply to reviews:

Thank you all for reviewing! As I know you all want me to hurry up with this update I've skipped out on replying to reviews this time 'round, but thank you all so much! I'm really thankful and it's your feed back that ensures I continue writing like the good little author I am.

--

**Chapter five: **Expectations

--

Three hours of traveling with the silent earth soldier and Aang was finding himself restless. His fingers flickered and curled, willing the wind around him to swirl and rush towards his out-stretched palm, creating what many would call a mini tornado. It didn't last long, thought, for Katara ran past him and waved her arms out towards the sky, thus causing him to stumble and drop the flow of air he had created.

"Look Aang, we're nearly there!"

He smiled and turned to his friend—or well, crush—not all too interested in the incoming building. He'd seen plenty of Earth kingdom buildings before. This one would be no different. He much preferred looking at Katara anyway, and seeming there wasn't much around to distract him, it was a rather easy task.

"Come on!" Katara quickly grabbed him by the hand and began to drag him forward; pulling him along like one would a rag doll.

He stumbled a few steps and began to pick up speed. "Oh, sorry Katara! I'm coming," He said, making larger strides in attempt to keep up.

From behind them Sokka groaned and made a lazy attempt at running. It looked more like he had jumped two steps, and then began walking again, but Aang decided to keep that comment to himself.

The earth soldier coughed in to his hand, catching Aang's attention. "We're close now, Avatar, is uh," He made a quick motion to Sokka. "Is he going to be alright?"

At noticing the earth soldier addressing him, Sokka jumped. "Hey, we've been walking for over a week now! Wouldn't you be tired too?" He said quickly, fastening his steps. "I'm thirsty…and, well, yeah, thirsty pretty much explains it."

Aang grinned. "Well, I did offer you some water three hours ago."

"That water was gross and brown, I could get sick!" Sokka shot back irritably.

Aang's grin widened. "If you say so."

Sokka sighed and ran a hand over his sweaty forehead. "There IS water at the base, right?" He pulled his hand away from his forehead and waved it at the earth soldier sharply.

The earth soldier gave a strained nod, obviously not used to such informalities. "Of course, feel free to have some water when you get there," he turned his head further and smiled at Aang. "And Avatar, we have an important issue to discuss with you when we get there."

Aang decided didn't like that smile.

--

Zuko was pissed.

As pissed as someone in a cell with a little girl could get, really. And that was pretty pissed. The man had come over during the night and was now sitting in the corner, girl in his lap, and grin feral as he motioned for Zuko to step forward.

That was the last thing Zuko wanted to do but he obeyed anyway, for the girl. He'd never forgive himself if she got hurt. "Alright, do what you want with me, she's just a kid, let her go," he ground out angrily.

The admiral laughed. "Not so fast prince, we haven't gotten through all my instructions yet," he shifted the girl to the side and held a knife up to her neck, causing her to give a fresh waterfall of tears and sobs.

Zuko grimaced. "What do you want me to do?" He asked quickly, worried for the girl's safety. The man was a sick, sick bastard; he couldn't believe he was threatening with an innocent little girl. That was beyond low.

"Beg."

Zuko blinked. "What?"

"I said: Beg, or don't you understand," the knife tightened on the girl's neck and she whimpered.

"I…no I understand," He swallowed thickly as bile built up in his throat, as well as a growl of frustration. "Beg…" He paused. "For what?"

He couldn't believe he was asking this. He was Zuko, prince of the firenation, helper of the avatar. He—He—he'd had this argument yesterday. He'd also lost that argument. Zuko stifled a miserable groan and crawled forward, placing his forehead down against the stone bricks.

What did he have to lose anyway? Dignity? Certainly not.

"Beg for the girl's life. Your life," He looked disconcerted as he continued and Zuko had the sudden urge to slowly scrape away that carefree smile. There was no limit to how much hatred he held for this man, sure he could stand up straight after been raped and tortured, but a little girl…he'd rather die than watch her throat be cut.

He pressed his forehead harder in to the ground and took a deep breath. He could do this, for the little girl he could do anything. After a moment he began to speak:

"Please don't, please don't kill her," He bit his tongue and tried to make it bleed, but couldn't manage. He didn't want to hurt anymore. "Please, please, please. I am begging you. Please let her go."

The darkness covering his vision was comforting but not nearly enough to stop himself shaking when the man got to his feet. "Please," he added, just incase it wasn't enough. The girl was still crying in the background but it was softer now. He let out a relived sigh and mentally thanked the avatar for her safety.

Thinking of the Avatar, where was he? Zuko wanted him to come and save the girl, and if he had time, the other prisoners as well.

The footsteps finally stopped and he opened his eyes, staring forward at familiar black boots. What he'd do to burn those boots and watch the flames reach up to the man above—

A hand lifted him up by the front and he grunted.

Nevermind.

"You know what else I would like you to beg for, _prince_?" The man asked. Zuko kept down a snappy comment and lowered his head, staring down at the grimy prison floor. He'd found the other man liked seeing him like this. It lessened the pain he received and ensured the girls safety, for now he wouldn't worry about dignity. Survival was more important. For him and the little girl.

"I asked you a question," He was shaken violently a few times and was forced to gnaw on the inside of his cheek to stop a cry of pain.

"No, I don't," He answered after a brief pause. His head was spinning from the assault but he ignored it.

"How about you take a guess," The voice moved to beside his ear and he stiffened. Oh god no, not in front of the girl. Not again. He kicked the admiral in the shin before feeling something hard and round connect with his stomach. After coughing up blood and what he assumed was his guts on to the stone floor, he slumped and clutched himself, shaking miserably and moaning in pain.

The admiral picked him up again and he didn't bother resisting, there was no point. "Let's try that again," He man pinched the back of his neck and he nodded, knowing exactly what he wanted. Hopefully the girl would close her eyes and block her ears; he didn't want her to see this again. Or hear it, for that matter. "Take a guess."

Zuko looked up through mattered black strands of hair and glared. "I'm guessing," he started hoarsely, throat scratching with each painful word. "You want to…" The prince grimaced. He was digging himself a hole here with no way out; if he could just convince the other man to do something else it'd all be fine. Maybe if he offered something else he could manipulate the admiral in to kicking him instead of 'that'.

Zuko almost let out a bitter laugh. So this is what his life had come to, deciding between rape and getting tortured.

"You want to punish me," Zuko finished tensely.

The admiral grinned and opened his mouth to speak, but a soft voice from outside the cell stopped him mid-breath. He frowned and dropped Zuko, leaning low to whisper a cruel warning in the prince's ear before he went to the door and pulled it open, smiling at the guard outside.

"Yes, have you got news?" He asked.

The guard fidgeted and glanced at Zuko, obviously uncomfortable. The prince took a little pride in this and rolled over, nursing his bruised stomach with the limited movement he had. It felt like he hadn't eaten in forever. He just wanted to double over and be sick, although he wasn't sure what would come out of his stomach since there was nothing inside him other than organs, muscle and blood. Perhaps air, since there was plenty of that left in him…

However there was no hot air, not anymore. No one could have an ego after what he'd been through.

"The avatar has arrived, sir."

That snapped Zuko out of his thoughts.

He blinked away tears and hid his head beneath his arm, trying not to cry. It was stupid that he was so grateful for such a thing. After all it could be a trick, it could be a new form of torture to break him…Zuko quickly shook his head. No. No Aang was definitely going to come and he was going to break Zuko out and help him save the girl.

He wasn't going to give up.

--

What a depressing chapter, but fortunately AANG TO THE RESCUE.


	6. Rescue

**Title:** Illusions  
**Pairing:** Eventual Sokka/Zuko  
**Rating:** M  
**Warning:** Violence, torture, death, and the usual crap.  
**A/N:** Crap. Lack of updates again, 'fraid I got really sick. I thought it was a cold at first but it ended up been something much more serious, so after getting the right treatment I was able to write this.

--

**Chapter five: **Rescue

--

Zuko gave in for just a moment.

He wasn't one to cry but he found himself doing that just now. He had cried once, on the mountain with his uncle down below, during a storm, but since then he had become stronger and more tolerant to such weak emotions. However there was a good reason for his tears. A certain admiral had come back to finish his work on Zuko, create a pretty little picture.

Well at least the girl wasn't around to watch this time. She had left with the guard awhile ago, hopefully to be taken somewhere safe. After been punched in the stomach a good three times he had doubled over and cried, it was just a natural bodily reaction he couldn't help. He hadn't wanted too. He certainly hadn't wanted to. It had been forced out of him. Well actually…maybe he had wanted to cry just a little bit. It did make his eyes feel a little less sore and dry.

He lay on the ground with what he presumed was blood sliding down his forehead and sighed. At least the man was gone for now, he had finished with his little torture game for the moment. As soon as the Avatar came to rescue him he would be safe. Nice baths, friendly voices, food, water…God what he would do for a nice warm bath. He felt as if there was a second skin of grime on him!

Ten minutes after his and the admirals little meeting the same guard who had seen him before came in and grabbed him by the arm, almost gently, but not quite, dragging him out in to the hallway.

Zuko didn't bother to look around as he was dragged. What was the point? It wasn't as if it would change anything, he just wanted to get out of there. Out of that cage. That hellhole. His eyes had dried by that time and he was almost thankful for it. He didn't want Aang to see how much pain he was in…thought it was pretty obvious.

He was soon forced to walk in to a nearby room and was dropped on the floor with little or no consideration. He hadn't expected any anyway so he didn't mind. It only added a little bit to his current hurts.

"Avatar Aang, we give you the fire nation prince."

A hand was waved, or he thought it was a hand, and something or someone grabbed him by the back of his shirt. Now he could see Aang standing a few feet away, thought his expression was far from pleased. His friend's faces matched his.

"Zuko…"

The fire nation prince forced a dry smile. Now was not the time to look pathetic, he wanted Aang to kick these guys asses. He couldn't do it himself, but maybe the avatar would leave him something to kick up later. He was dropped soon after Aang's whisper as a small hand grabbed the throat of the man behind him. He heard a distinctive crack, before something fell beside his body. A bloody something. He wondered how Aang had managed to twist the mans head right around, it was quite impressive.

Surprisingly Sokka was the first person to run to his aid. Katara followed moment later. Hands circled his chest and pulled him up, as comforting words were muttered in to his bloody ear. He found himself becoming appreciative of the other male and almost felt himself smile. Right now he had a lot to smile about. He was finally free from the admiral's grimy cruel hands.

His eyes fluttered closed for a brief moment, but were soon opened as a familiar bulky man walked in and started barking orders at his men, who in turn all went to attack the Avatar. Out of the corner of his eye he watched as each one was slaughtered horribly and horrifically, he doubted Aang had ever been so angry in his life.

Blood splattered across the pearl floors and Zuko forced himself to turn his head as Aang neared Admiral Kain. "Aang," his voice was weak and soft, but Aang's attention was momentarily caught. "Him."

That was all he needed to say. Admiral Kain got it worst of all, and Zuko realized he had never before been so happy about another person's death. But then again he had never hated anyone this badly before.

Something cold touched his chest and he jerked, momentarily panicking, but the moment his eyes flickered up to soft blue he relaxed again. Katara was busily running water over his wounds, trying her best to heal him. Sokka however was searching through his kit for bandages. Neither of them tried to stop Aang from killing the room occupants.

There were cracks and bangs around him, different liquids coating the floor, screaming echoing against his ears.

And then silence.

Aang fell to the floor and gave out a small sob. "W-what did I do?" He rubbed his tear streaked cheeks as Katara ran over to embrace him. "K-Katara, I killed them! I killed them!" He sobbed in to the water benders shirt and Zuko felt himself becoming guilty.

"I'm sorry," he murmured hoarsely, but Aang looked over and shook his head.

"Its okay Zuko," his voice had reduced itself to a whisper. "It's their fault…are you okay?"

Zuko tried not to roll his eyes at Aang's question. Obviously he was NOT okay, but he remembered that Aang was somewhat innocent and shook his head. "I need me…" His voice gave out on him and Sokka gently picked him up.

"He needs medical assistance, come on," At the moment he was light enough to be carried around up so Sokka did just that. Usually he would have felt undignified, but he wasn't sure he had any dignity left so he didn't bother complaining. Not that he could complain. He couldn't even speak in his current condition.

He looked back at the mess Aang had created and smiled cruelly. Kain had been totally destroyed, his arms removed, legs, eyes, if the man was still alive he would have been in copious amounts of pain. It would have been great to have the man live in such a condition but he knew Aang was a merciful person. He wouldn't leave someone to suffer so horribly.

Zuko noticed they had been in a large stone courtyard the whole time. It was beautiful, plush and perfect, even with the blood.

He hoped someone destroyed it.

His eyes closed a second time and he pressed the side of his head in to Sokka's chest. Surprisingly the other male didn't mind this and even placed a soft cool hand on his forehead. It was a small almost unnoticeable reaction but he keened in to the touch, thoroughly enjoying it. It had been awhile since he had felt anything so cool and comforting. The last few days…or weeks - he wasn't so sure - he had been in total and utter hell. Sokka managed to fend away the bad thoughts that made him hurt and left an enjoyable comforting feeling in the pit of his stomach.

He would be sure to thank him later. Katara and Aang rushed up to help Sokka with carrying Zuko but the water tribesman seemed perfectly capable. He just shrugged them off and continued walking, almost running in to the desert.

"Come on guys, hurry up!" He exclaimed.

Aang nodded and blew on his whistle for Appa. Within minutes the giant creature had flown down to greet them, its large tail creating dust storms around their feet. Zuko felt himself get lowered on to the back and he curled, much like an animal trying to get some form of comfort and warmth. Finally he could rest.

Just before they left a soft voice yelled out to them. Zuko jerked. The girl! She was alright! Tears were streaming down her face and she was practically begging them to let her on, but other than that she was fine.

Of course, been the kind Avatar he was, Aang let her on and even let her sit next to Zuko. The prince smiled and weakly wrapped his arm around the girl, pulling her close.

--

B-awww! It full of violence and cute. More violent than cute I think.


	7. Heal

**Title:** Illusions  
**Pairing:** Eventual Sokka/Zuko  
**Rating:** M  
**Warning:** A bit floofy, but our boys are focusing on recovery right now, so no warnings yet.  
**A/N:** Since you've all been waiting so patiently – well, most of you – I made this chapter a little nicer than the other one (honestly its just to fill in a few gaps, but its nice anyway). I went on a hiatus to focus on my studies, so I'm sorry if it took me awhile to update. I tend to take my time when writing a series of things but really I should stop making up excuses. Please enjoy this chapter!

--

**Chapter seven: **Heal

--

Zuko couldn't believe how long it had been since he had been release from his own personal hell. An entire afternoon had passed at the very least – and despite all the mental and physical agony he had gone through, this thought made him smile. He wasn't going to hurt anymore. He was in safe hands – Sokka's and Katara's hands to be exact. One was healing his wounds while the other was covering those that were too deep or festering to use water bending on. A few cuts on his back he knew would scar as they hadn't received medical treatment in time, but at least Katara was able to heal the worst of his injuries. Later he might even muster up the strength to go on a short walk. Possibly to a lake so he could wash away his impurities. If they were washable, he didn't know, could he even attempt to touch that place after...?

The fire bender shuddered and curled in to himself. He didn't want to think about that nor remember what had gone on back at that jail. He was safe now, he didn't need to worry about that man hurting him whilst he had warm, comforting hands running down his shoulders – wait a minute, who was touching him? Jerking away, he almost topped off Appa's back and to the earth below when he realized Katara had been attempting to kneed out the strain in his shoulders. He had nothing against females, he just didn't want a girl to touching him. They were so pure, and as a waterbender that went double for Katara, he didn't want to ruin something like that with his impurity.

The next pair of hands that touched him, he allowed. This time it was Sokka who eased him down in to the pillow of fur. Katara looked little distressed at his reluctance to be touched by, well, anyone really (he was still incredibly tense when Sokka began fluffing up some of Appas fur around him) and turned to whisper something in to Aang's ear, which must have caused the air bender to ruffle because he gave Zuko a concerned look that made the princes stomach twist and burn. Did she know? Oh god, Zuko hoped not. He didn't want anyone to know what had happened, not even the Avatar, not even the little animals that followed them around, no one.

He took a dizzying breath and closed his eyes, attempting to get some rest without having to worry about the eyes that constantly watched him. His lips were chapped and dry and it seemed Sokka was more than happy to help him relieve that pain by pressing a damp, somewhat ragged sponge up against his eager mouth. Pleased, he sucked in a clump of the sponge and began drawing in as much moisture as possible, which wasn't very much but would keep him sated for the moment.

When he dozed off he was unaware of everyone whispering around him, leaning over to give him looks, and sometimes even touching him to check up on his wounds. Exhaustion had brought him down to the level of a rock, and he just wanted to lay there and sleep, and dream pleasant dreams, until everything became better. He didn't even notice when his little girl came up and cuddled in to his side.

Sokka overheard the feverish whispers and sent the people gossiping heated glares, quite a few glares in fact as he and the girl were the only people not talking about Zuko's condition, and instead trying to comfort him in his time of need. He had expected some distance on the emotional front with Karara, but honestly, he had hoped she would get over it and do her silly...mother-hen thing that she always did when someone was hurt. At least Zuko was getting the medical attention he needed. That was a start, and a very good one at that, his injuries didn't seem that bad although he had to ponder the possibility of internal ones.

Mm. No. Zuko would probably tell them if he had any, he was a prideful sort of guy, but not the sort that would risk his life over something as simple as an internal injury. Internal injuries could be healed, and very easily with Katara on hand, but only if they were found early. If not, Zuko would bleed out in to his body and die from an internal infection. The thought made him swallow and shiver. He would hate to see that happen to the prince after all he had been through. None of those physical injuries had looked pretty, he had to wonder how Zuko felt mentally. How he was dealing with the realization he had – for what felt like an entire week – lost all sense of control. Maybe he wasn't really dealing with it at all, maybe he was denying it.

Sokka shook his head and tried to stop thinking about it. He wasn't good with this sort of thing and he prided himself on that, he didn't want to try too hard and end up hurting himself, as well as Zuko by doing something stupid, which would undoubtedly happen if he got too curious. He redirected his gaze to the sleeping boy below him and watched his body shiver under the caress of the wind.

Hours later, Zuko slowly opened his eyes to a lush forest of green, yellow and white. Above him the sky was freckled blue with clouds massing in groups for what he supposed would soon turn in to a rain storm. The rain would sooth his hurts and clean his unwashed skin, so he was making no complaints about that.

He rolled around in the turf of Appa's hair until he noticed a long, skinny shadow looming over him. Blinking a few times, cuddling in to the fur in an attempt to preserve some warmth, he tilted his head up at whoever had come to watch him and found Sokka standing there with a container of food. For a moment or two he just stared at the food as if it were a particularly delicious looking animal, until the urge to grab it took him over and he threw his hands up, pulling the bowl from Sokka's hands with one weak tug. It was so quick he merely succeed in spilling the bowl contents over himself.

"Hey, calm down, slow down," Sokka soothed. He seemed to be having difficulty tending to an injured person. Zuko could understand that. The boy probably didn't do this very often, or didn't know how Zuko would react to certain things. Hissing under his breath, he allowed the other boy to pick up what was left of the meal and slip it back in to the bowl.

Instead of asking him what he was going to do with it, Zuko stared up at him expectantly. He didn't feel like talking thought he could see Sokka was struggling with what to fill the silence with. "Um, I'll get another bowl, stay there," he quickly turned on his heel and trotted off to fetch some more food from his sister, who was more than happy to give it to him. When he came back Zuko had curled up again with his hands sitting out ready to grab the bowl. Sokka looked mildly surprised, before shaking his head and placing the bowl in Zuko's hands, who immediately began to consume whatever was inside.

If he hadn't felt so sorry for the bender Sokka might have been a little squicked by the speed at which Zuko ate the food. It was a little messy. Like he hadn't eaten in days – and maybe he hadn't, Sokka wasn't sure. Once the bowl was completely empty (it was totally wiped out, not even a crumb was left), Sokka offered Zuko a piece of cloth to clean himself up with and sat down next to him as the prince gently began wiping up the food.

The company was appreciated thought Zuko would never admit it. Not in his current state. Like Aang, he didn't want to talk after having gone through something emotionally scarring. Once the mental scars had been stitched together and covered enough to make the pain easier to deal with he might give a few hints as to what the earth kingdom admiral had done to him, nothing about the rape, only the mental abuse, and the person he was hinting at could...well he wasn't sure, maybe they could be support. He was strong but only up to a certain extent, this time he knew he couldn't do it on his own, or with the help of his little girl. He needed someone he could rely on and talk to.

If only he wasn't so prideful, then maybe...

Sokka cut him off by picking up the bowl and walking away, offering a smile on his way in to the make-shift cabin Aang had created. He shrugged away the sudden feeling of regret and turned over to go back to sleep, it wasn't as if Sokka would want to talk about that sort of thing anyway, it would only make their friendship – if you could call it that – more strained.

Before he knew it he had fallen asleep again. This time, when he woke up, it was night. Everyone was fast asleep, and he noticed the little girl had taken her place at his side once again. He ran his fingers through her matted hair and smiled fondly. Without her, he would have gone crazy ages ago.

Too weak to get up, and too tired to bother calling for Sokka, Katara or Aang, he drew her closer to his chest, closed his eyes and went back to sleep.


	8. Understanding

**Title:** Illusions  
**Pairing:** Eventual Sokka/Zuko  
**Rating:** M  
**Warning:** Some might find this chapter slightly squickly. Most of it is fluff.  
**A/N:** Sorry for the late update. I've had this chapter written up for a long while, I just couldn't find the time to put it up, and I was thinking of re-writing the whole story since my grasp of grammar has improved somewhat. I eventually decided against it. Occasionally I'll edit some of the older chapters, but not with anything worth re-reading. It would be best if I focused on the newer ones.

This chapter is...admittedly a little rushed, but I'm a eager to finish the story. I've had it for far too long.

--

**Chapter eight:** Understanding

--

Morning arrived in the form of warm sunshine and a soothing morning breeze. The first thing Zuko noticed when he pried open his heavy eyelids was Aang huddled up against the front of the cabin, his form small, frail and obviously weary. A violent twist in his gut almost sent Zuko doubling over his make-shift bed, bile burning the back of his throat, but he managed to stifle it by squeezing his eyes shut and focusing on the unsteady throbbing of his heart.

The reason the Avatar looked so unwell was obvious, but there was absolutely nothing Zuko could do to ease the burden of guilt. Aang would take the memory of killing those earth soldiers to his grave, and then for the rest of his time as an avatar spirit. Just thinking about the torment his mere rescue had caused made Zuko feel queasy. What would happen if Aang figured out the extent of the abuse he was put though? Would he break down completely? The prince hoped to God that would never happen.

Regretting the soldiers' demise was undoubtedly pointless, so Zuko didn't even try. He did however give into his steadily growing pity and crawled over to the dozing Aang. The younger boy shifted restlessly in his sleep, eyebrows furrowed, lips forming unintelligible sentences and words. Zuko didn't dare touch him until he had fallen silent again.

With his battered body in its current condition he just barely managed to push open the tent flap and ease Aang inside. Once done, he attempted to crawl back over to his bed but found the task much harder now that he had exerted his weak muscles.

Pain laced up his abdomen, his back, and he toppled over onto his aching side. Getting up seemed even more pointless than regretting the deaths of the earth kingdom soldiers, so he didn't. He curled up with his shaking arms wrapped around his knees until his body fell motionless from exhaustion. His mind followed soon after.

---

'His little girl', as she was often refered to as, woke him up some hours after he had fallen asleep in the dirt. He took notice of the weight on his stomach as he reached consciousness, and then of the long locks of hair brushing up against his neck and cheeks. Above him, all he could see was the cheerful pudgy face of the five year old, and watched with mild curiosity as her cheeks suddenly flared dark enough to be compared to a ripe tomato.

"Morning," he greeted softly.

The blush gradually began to fade and was soon replaced by yet another smile. It wasn't often he saw the usually sombre girl smile. Soon he was following her example and smiling back. "You weren't in the bed," her cheerful demeanour suddenly fell, voice taking on a quiet tone. "I thought you had left me."

The little fists curled in his shirt indicated just how worried she had been about his disappearance. Zuko stifled a sigh and tipped his head back. Having someone depend on him was unusual, especially since he was barely able to take proper care of himself.

"Why would I do that?" with a hefty groan, he pulled himself up and managed to roll back into bed. "I won't leave you."

To further reassure her, the prince reached over and pulled her over to his side so she could curl up under his chin. Lying there, completely silent, eyes tightly closed was quite possibly the most comfortable thing he had experienced in weeks.

"Promise?" She murmured against Zuko's collarbone. The little wisps of her breath sent a shiver through him. With hesitant fingers, he cupped the back of her head and pulled her further into the crook of his neck, gesture that of a protective carer.

"Yeah. I promise."

Little lips kissed the brow of his forehead, and then he was dozing comfortably in the sun.

Time passed quietly. He was only idly aware of its passing. He knew minutes were ticking by without either his or his girls recognition, turning seconds into minutes into hours, but didn't care to get up while comfortably nestled in copious amounts of both emotional and physical warmth. It was a nice change to what he had become accustomed to for most of his childhood, as well as adulthood.

The soft sound that was unmistakably snoring soon reached his ears and he chuckled. Amidst Zuko's mental monologue his little girl had fallen asleep. Parted lips pressed against his sweaty night shirt and tiny fingers, so small and fragile Zuko immediately felt a tug at his heart upon looking at them, had loosely wrapped themselves around his broad shoulders. The sight was incredibly endearing. He couldn't deny children had once been regarded as a bother to him, but the little girl had turned that opinion of them right around. He was more than happy to accept this one into his life.

Apparently not above emotional attachments, he allowed her to snuggle into his aching chest and proceeded to stare up at the sky for as long as she wanted to sleep.

His attention was so focused on a nearby nest of birds that he didn't even hear Sokka's noisy approach. "Staring at those birds must be a real treat," the water bender greeted cheerfully, raising an eyebrow at Zuko's absorbed expression.

"Yeah," Zuko replied, slowly turning his head to gaze at Sokka. "It better than cement walls, in any case."

An awkward silence passed through the otherwise audacious forest. Sokka, suddenly overburdened by guilt, awkwardly reached behind his neck and scratched while moving from foot to food. Slowly but surely he gathered up the confidence to speak again. "Uhm...I guess they would be. But I didn't come here to talk about birds – unless you want to talk about birds, because then I could probably..."

"Don't over exert that compassion," Zuko snorted. "You might pull something."

Despite the obvious insult, Sokka smiled. "If I do, I'll hold you responsible," he replied jokingly.

Dropping to his knees before Zuko, he gently eased the sleeping child off his lap – much to Zuko's disappointment – and placed her on a nearby bed of fur. That done, he got around to assisting Zuko to his feet. The poor boy's hygiene was absolutely tarnished. If he didn't have a shower soon, no one would be able to offer him one due to the stench. Fortunately, Sokka made sure to mute these comments as he was sure Zuko wouldn't appreciate them while in his current ruffled state.

Zuko struggled with his footing for a moment or two, head sunk deep in concentration.

"What are we doing?" he asked, somewhat perturbed.

Sokka comforted him with a brief pat on the back. "Giving you a bath," he said, stifling a particularly rude comment. "There's a stream nearby."

A bath did actually sound appealing. Cleaning off all the grime and dirt that had accumulated over the last few weeks would be a blessing to his very soul. Finally he would be able to rid himself that that grimy, dirty feeling that came with uncleanliness. The fact he could wash away all evidence of the multiple assaults made upon him was a bonus, although not one he liked to think about.

Inch by inch they hobbled towards the stream. The whole way Sokka complied with his every order. It was odd to have the water bender in such a submissive position. Usually the other boy was a loud mouth who neglected to hold his tongue in the most delicate of situations. Right now, he was quiet and sincere, and Zuko wasn't sure whether he appreciated the special treatment, or found it discomforting.

Either way, they soon arrived at the stream and Zuko immediately began undressing, unaware of Sokka's continuing presence until he felt fingers prying fabric away from his struggling arms. With a yelp he stumbled back and wrapped the cloth tight around him, startling Sokka into falling over. The two exchanged brief expressions of surprise, but thankfully Sokka managed to break the tenseness with a bright, albeit worried smile.

"My sister always said I was good at doing that," he nodded multiple times before hefting himself to his feet. "Can you do that yourself?"

Zuko looked down at himself, his shaking hands, and then back up at Sokka. "Yes."

The expression that crossed the non-benders face was obviously disbelieving, but after giving Zuko's still clothed form a one over, eyebrows furrowed, he reluctantly turned on his heel and left Zuko to his privacy. The prince gave a quiet sigh and slowly began to strip himself, glancing from side to side, nervous, as he did. Throughout his undressing there were no more surprises. No Sokka. No Katara. Definitely no Aang. He was finally on his lonesome, and allowed himself a moment to grieve as he approached the stream.

Wiping his eyes with weak fingers, he lowered himself down onto the grass and threw his legs into the water, scrubbing them with a loose bit of cloth. He had to remember to retain his strength while looking after his little girl. Without his encouragement they would both fail to make it through this tragedy. Zuko was sure he could. He'd pushed his way through recovery after his fathers punishment, and was determined to do the same with this situation, no matter the differences.

He could do it. He...he...

Zuko stared down at his battered reflection in the water and stifled another onslaught of hot tears.

"No, no, dammit," He cursed his wavering emotional state as he lowered himself down into the stream, wary of the plant life surrounding it. "I can. I can do this."

The water turned a murky red colour as he submerged his whole body. He didn't chance looking at it for longer than a few seconds in fear of the knot that would form in his stomach, and hastily distracted himself with cleaning his hair and washing every nook and cranny on his body. Although paler than usual, after washing off the majority of the grime he started looking more like his old self. Not that his old self had been in that great a condition, considering the bad eating habits that arose without the presence of his uncle, but it was definitely an improvement.

On his back, wounds dribbled with newly spilled blood. Rivets ran down his spine and as he turned around, curved to his hip and down his belly. He watched with a mild sort of fascination as multiple dribbles find their way to the front of his body. It wasn't a pleasant sight, but he couldn't bring himself to look away. His eyes continued to focus on the grotesque scene playing before him until a slight rustling in the bushes caught his attention.

His head snapped up quick enough to catch the edge of brown sandle. Either Aang's, Sokka's, or Katara's, he didn't know.

Heart pounding against his ribs in uneven beats, he feigned ignorance as he crawled onto land and grabbed the towel provided to cover himself, eyes trailing the bushes inconspicuously as he dried himself off. The rustling caught his ear again, but was ignored in favour of gathering his clothes. It wasn't until he heard it pass from behind him that he struck out and threw a nearby piece of bark in the general direction of the intruder. The yelp was unmistakable, and his blood ran cold before he could even hope to gather up some semblance of control or anger.

"You..." He couldn't even bring himself to look away.

Sokka poked himself out of the bushes with an obviously shamed expression. Reluctantly, he stepped out and positioned himself a few feet away from Zuko, just in case the other boy felt inclined to exact some sort of revenge.

"Zuko I...uh...I'm really...I didn't want to leave you on your own," he struggled for the right words. "Why didn't you tell us about those..."

"What was I supposed to say?" Zuko choked out suddenly. The high tide of emotions was causing him actual pain, deep and wounding, overlapping the torment that had already settled in his mind. He was stuck between running and forcing Sokka away. "Why don't you tell me."

Sokka stared at him silently for a moment, lips turned down in worry, eyes squinted. "...I don't know," he admitted solemnly.

"...Get out," Zuko eventually demanded. "I can do this on my own."

"You were struggling a moment before. You can't pretend those injuries aren't hurting you."

"I told you I can do this on my own. I bathed on my own, and I'm more than capable of this!"

"I would love to agree, I seriously would, but..."

The retort on Zuko's lips fell silent as Sokka stepped forwards and hitched the towel up over Zuko's shoulder so each blood trail was stopped. They stood in silence as each examined the other closely. Zuko stared at Sokka's face, while Sokka stared at the expanse of wounds on his back. Some were festering and red to the point of infection. There was little pus, but Sokka was still concerned. The wound wasn't one that could go untreated.

He drew his fingers down the knife welts until blood had gathered thickly on his fingers. It was warm to the touch, as was Zuko's back, almost boiling even. Throughout this Zuko was silent and still, refusing to even properly acknowledge Sokka as the boy circled him and checked each of his wounds.

"Come sit down," Sokka offered on his way towards the stream. "I'll clean them for you."

Against his better nature, Zuko considered running straight for the hills, but eventually gave into Sokka's look of honest concern and sat down across from him.

With Zuko's permission, Sokka went to work on cleaning each of the wounds. After removing the towel, he dipped a piece of cloth into the water and gently ran it over Zuko's tense shoulder, ilicting a startled hiss. Only after Zuko showed signs of relaxing did he start again. Each stroke was taken with great care and thought. Even without medical knowledge Sokka seemed to know what he was doing. He wiped here and there, cleaned off all the grime with gentle strokes, humming quietly under his breath as he did.

The prince eventually relaxed himself into Sokka's massage like cleaning. Both eyes dropped down low enough to completely obscure his vision, but he didn't allow himself to completely fall into the depths of security. He knew better than to do that after all his experiences, even around friends.

Sokka's brushing eventually coaxed a pleased groan out of Zuko. He shuffled in place and slowly drew his thin legs up to his chest, allowing Sokka access to the deep cuts hidden behind towel. The sudden relief that came with been cleaned was greatly pleasing. He was having a hard time keeping himself quiet, especially when Sokka began to clean and rub the base of his neck at the same time. His long, thing, swordsman fingers felt wonderful against the tight knots that had formed overnight.

He blinked sleepily, drooping along with his towel, which was now hanging loosely off his hips and pooling around his legs. Sokka didn't take notice of his half-naked state and seemed content with sitting there, in the sun, rubbing all his pains away with simple kind gestures.

As a big brother he had done this multiple times the past to comfort his sister. All her scrapes and boo-boos had gotten a big 'ol kiss from him, as well as a gentle scrub down. He could recall the days Katara had done the same for him as well. She was rather motherly after all, and seemed to enjoy looking after her big brother in the same way he imagined their mother would have looked after them both.

He continued cleaning lower and lower until he came to the small of Zuko's back, which he examined closely. There were bruises the shape of hands on both his hips and what was exposed of his thighs. Sokka was more or less naive where sexual crimes were concerned, but not enough to let the possibility pass without a thought.

He placed the cloth aside and began rubbing circles with his hands instead. Zuko accepted the intimacy without protest, so he boldly decided to gently touch the bruises as well.

A violent slap to his hand dissuaded him from exploring the bruises any further. He hissed, jerked back, and cradled his throbbing fingers against his chest. In front of him, Zuko was looking over his shoulders, both furious and surprised.

"What was that?" He asked, panic evident in his voice. "Why did you – what were you trying to do?"

"I was just checking the bruises," Sokka admitted quickly. He raised his hands in a gesture of surrender and allowed Zuko a few feet of space. "They looked, I mean...they looked like hands. I just wanted to see if I was right or..." He swallowed thickly. "I know you're not going to tell me what happened to you, b-but I want to help. First I need to know the injuries. I... won't tell Katara, or Aang. But you definitely need medical assistance."

A deep angry scowl was his only response, and then Zuko was gathering up his clothes, dressing himself, and limping away.

Failure drooped Sokka shoulders until he was slumped over his knees and a mere disturbance away from falling into the river. There was no way dealing with Zuko would be easy. The prince was an absolute statue when it came to opening up to people, even more so now he'd gone through inhuman methods of torture.

Thankfully, a distraction came in the form of a sleepy looking Katara with a bundle of dirty clothes in her arms. She greeted him with a slight smile before dropping to her knees before the stream. Obliging her silent request, Sokka inched forward and took a foul smelling article of clothing from the pile and got to work.


End file.
